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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 21:51:01 GMT
November 10th
Even after about a year, Wally's death still haunted Dick. Sure, he wasn't there, there was nothing he could have done, and without Wally, the world would have been doomed. He was no speedster, and as such couldn't have helped even if he was there. In retrospect, it was just lucky that Bart and Barry were fast enough to avoid being killed as well, but that didn't make Dick feel much better.
His exile was pointless. Sure, he needed time away, but now it was getting ridiculous. To a normal person, "time away" would have meant a vacation of some sort, not just time away from the others, followed by a solo act, but that's what it had become for Dick. He didn't mind, he found the solitude to be nice, for a while. And then for a time he'd thought he kept hearing Wally's voice, or words of wisdom to rejoin his friends and the Team. But he couldn't, not yet.
Still, he thought about Tim, about Barbara. They were proteges of his, more or less. He thought about Zatanna, and their relationship that he felt regret for in that it didn't continue. So many memories came to him, but he kept coming home to three specific faces.
Tim.
Barbara.
Bruce.
They were like his family. Tim was like a younger version of him, and someone he felt the need to help. Dick had been through so much during this fight against The Light, and now Tim was in a similar situation. He felt he could help Tim, but he couldn't bring himself to going there to help.
Bruce was like a father to Dick, and trained him. Hell, he raised Dick after his parents were killed. He owed Bruce everything. He was only still here, and fighting, because of Bruce.
And then Barbara...but no. He shook his head. He didn't even know what to think of her. They seemed to be interested in each other at one point, but Dick's other relationships seemed to ruin that. But now he was alone, without any of those relationships or women in his life. He felt connected to Barbara in that they both were fighters, both trained under Batman, and...he wasn't even sure. They'd met for coffee after one of his latest mistakes, but he wasn't sure how to take that. He didn't think he'd done well there.
Dick was sitting at a local park in Gotham and had called Barbara. Well, made sure she wasn't around and left a voicemail. He hoped she'd show up so he could get another chance to talk to her about all of this, and to at least try to make things right. One person at a time, and Barbara was the first he needed to speak to.
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Post by Amanda Waller on Apr 30, 2015 3:22:11 GMT
Barbara had seen the call from Dick but she let it go to voicemail, after their last meeting she wasn't in much of a hurry to have another. He didn't seem to want her help and normally that wouldn't bother her like it was but it did and she really had no desire to go through that again. He was a stubborn one, that went without saying, all of them were but Dick was really starting to give Bruce a run for his money. Cutting himself off from his friends and the people that care about him, refusing their help to any help really. It was exhausting.
She let the message remain on her phone while she went and finished the little errands that she was running around town but eventually that little notification bubble started to get on her nerves and she finally listened to the message. It wasn't much, just a 'hey barb' and some general chit chat that ended with him asking her to meet him at the park. Barbara sighed as she hung up her phone, she supposed she should go and see what he wanted maybe it was important...it had to be if he was actually calling her first, right?
Finishing what she was doing Barbara headed over to the park in question and walked around a bit until she found the man she was looking for, sitting on a bench. Straightening her shoulders Barbara walked over to him and stopped just to the side of the bench. "So, what was so important that I had to met you here?" Harsh? Maybe but with the way their last few meetings had gone Barbara's patience were waning thin in this situation.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2015 3:29:05 GMT
Dick sat there waiting for her, just looking out as people came and went, doing whatever they had to do with their lives. It brought a sad smile to his face. He really didn't get to experience these normal functions anymore. And Wally...Wally never would again... No! He couldn't let everything come back to Wally like that, it wasn't healthy. He wasn't at fault, at least, not really...no. He had to stop thinking like this. He just had to try to push past it and live his life.
When he heard Barbara's voice he turned his head and looked at her for a few moments in silence, trying to even think of an answer. He had called her, he had wanted to meet, but now words escaped him. As others would say, he had a way with women, and he always knew what to say. But this was different. He had nothing. He just stared awkwardly, then he came up to his feet quickly.
"Barbara...um..." He scratched the back of his head, trying to figure it out, "I...I'm sorry about last time. I'm sorry for everything..." Would she think of these as hollow words? Did they sound like that? He didn't mean for them to. "I've had time to think since we got coffee that day, and...and..." he let out a sigh, "Look Barb, I'm sorry. I...You know how I feel, and...well, it's not like I was raised in the healthiest environment..."
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Post by Amanda Waller on May 1, 2015 3:58:52 GMT
As he stammered on about saying he was sorry and what not Barbara just kind of looked at him for a moment. What was he even trying to say? She got that he was saying sorry but the rest came out so gumbled and didnt make much sense. 'Apology accepted.. Barbara told him, trying not to laugh at how awkward he was right now, laughing wouldn't do any good and she knew that this couldn't be easy for Dick to say but really, he was acting like a nervous teen trying to ask someone to the prom or something. "Just..don't let it happen again ok? You really hurt Tim's feelings you know." They had talked about this the last time they met which hadn't really gone as planned but maybe he had time to think over the things she said and that was why he called her here now.
"So...have you given any thought to what I said?" Leave it to her for diving right into things but Barbara didn't want to give Dick the chance to change his mind if this was indeed what he had called her for. Coming back to the Team would be good for him, it would be good for everyone but none as much as Dick. He needed to be around friends and with familiar faces and he needed to know that no one judged him for what happened. If he could just get over that initial fear then she knew that everything would slowly fall back into place. The Cave hadn't felt right since he left and she wanted him back. She wanted her friend back.
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2015 4:20:15 GMT
He nodded absently, "I need to make things up to Tim," he told her, "Don't worry, I intend to do that." He would feel like too much of a jerk if he didn't. Besides, Tim was basically his protege, and he couldn't just leave things on a sour note like that. He had to make things up for the man he was supposed to watch out for and help train. And in general, Dick was a good person, so he had to do what he could to help fix that. Right now he was just working on fixing one relationship at a time, and Barbara came first. He wasn't sure why, maybe because deep down he did like her?
"I've given it a little thought," Dick admitted. It would be nice to come back, to be with his team and friends again, to not be an outsider. He'd have to leave this life he had created and leave the people he'd met, but he hadn't known them for long, not like the members of the Team. He owed them so much more anyway. "I don't know if..." He stopped. "No. Forget what I was just saying," he told her. He wasn't putting it out the right way. "I know that I want to come back. I know that I'd be welcomed back. I know I belong back. I know that if I go back, I'll see Wally, and I'll hear his voice, and I'll remember what happened. But...at the same time, I'll be there for everyone else, and they'll be there for me. And...and you'll be there..."
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Post by Amanda Waller on May 7, 2015 4:54:04 GMT
"Good." Barbara said curtly with her own nod, that was all she really cared about to be honest right now, Dick had really hurt Tim. It was one thing having orders like that come from Batman but it was another thing to have them come from someone that had been in the same position you were in. It was hard to learn to be a leader when you had every move you made second guessed. She was glad that he was finally coming around to everything, it's not that she didn't expect it to take time but it seemed when the men in the bat family grieved or brooded they went for the gold.
As he stated that he had given her offer to come back some thought Barbara thought for sure that he was going to come up with some other excuse on why he couldn't and for a moment there it sounded like that was exactly what he was going to do. She swore that if she had to she would gas him and drag him back there herself. But...it didn't seem like it was going to have to come to that as Dick further explained No one said its going to be easy, I know it will be hard but being around friends can help you with that.
It was still unnerving to her to see the hologram of their fallen in the grotto and on the Watchtower, to see their smiling faces bear down on you. It was eerie and odd but in a way it also helped, it let you remember them the way they were before. "I will be there, I always am when you need me." Barbara didn't think anything of it, they were friends and friends were there for each other in times like that and she would be there for him if he needed to.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2015 13:53:24 GMT
She would be there when he needed her. He struggled with his desire to embrace her, to hold her. His arms struggled, wanting to come up, but he fought them and kept them down at his sides, but it was difficult to do. He managed to keep them down and gave her a nod, keeping his head low, "And you have no idea just how much that means to me," he said softly. He didn't think she knew what he had meant, but he felt that it might be for the best. It would keep things less complicated.
"I have...no interest in becoming leader again," he told her. He had no idea what the situation was at the moment. Was Aqualad still leading the team, or had someone else taken over? All Dick knew was that his time as leader while Aqualad was in deep cover was something he didn't want to repeat. And how could he? He had been in command when Wally died, and he blamed himself for it. He couldn't put others into that danger as well, no matter what happened. "But I will return."
Why was this so difficult for him? He knew what he wanted, and that was to rejoin the team, so why was he facing so much inner turmoil and struggle right now? Was it because it was Barbara he was talking to? Was it because those feelings were in conflict with his feelings for Barbara? That he was able to make one decision to rejoin the team, but not the other one to tell her his feelings? He was Nightwing, he was a hero, he was Dick Grayson. He was confident and knew what he was doing, so why couldn't he do this?
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Post by Amanda Waller on May 8, 2015 22:36:38 GMT
Barbara didn't think that he would want to jump into leading right away but hearing him say it like he did was almost disheartening. Despite what he might think now Dick was a natural leader, he had done a excellent job during that time and she knew he could continue to do that again should he wanted. Not that Kaldur'ahm or herself weren't up to par or doing a excellent job, Kaldur was another natural born leader and had been their leader since even before her time with the team. It was still just strange to hear Dick talk this way. Wallys death had really done a number on him.
"It will be nice to have you back" Barbara told him with a smile, figuring she had been harsh to him enough these past few days with everything. Once the words left her Barbara stepped around Dick and took a seat on the bench he had been sitting at before she arrived. There was no reason to stand and it was kind of awkward just standing there like she could leave at any moment.
Barbara didn't like being that way toward Dick, she didn't like being mad at him or angry and since they had moved past that she was willing to act like it was all normal again. As soon as she was settled Barbara patted the seat beside her to tell him to sit I know the others will be happy to have you back".. They had all missed him, some more than others. Some like her.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2015 23:56:46 GMT
People died, that was fact. Nobody lived forever (did Ra's al Ghul? Eh, he didn't count, nor did Vandal Savage), but Wally was young, and he had Artemis. Now he had failed Barry Allen, the other speedsters, and he had failed Artemis for getting her boyfriend killed. People died all the time, and no matter who they were, Dick felt. It was just that this time he could have tried to do something...but what? He didn't know, but there had to be something he could have attempted to do. It was probably because of the deaths of his parents that he felt this way, that he felt so much pain for any death, and those they left behind.
Dick turned as she moved around him to sit down. When she patted the seat beside her, he moved and took it, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He looked to her and nodded, "I just hope they accept me back, since I've been kind of...un-Nightwing-ish," he said, not really sure how else to phrase it, but he figured she'd get what he meant. He hadn't felt at all like himself. Hell, he had considered just rebranding himself for a bit, and a red "x" seemed to come to mind...
He was a crime fighter, and he had done so much in life. A lot of stupid things, some would say, like jumping from buildings and fighting armed criminals, so why was his heart racing so much right now? He looked at Barbara in silence for a few moments, then swallowed hard, "Barb...out of everything I've feared about coming back to the team...seeing you has been one of the hardest things to get past," he told her softly, "Because I know I've flirted with you before, and I know you said before that I wasn't ready for you, but...all this time, you were on my mind the most..." Well, besides Wally...
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Post by Amanda Waller on May 9, 2015 0:24:19 GMT
"You mean more like a dick?" Barbara thought to herself but she had enough self control to not speak it out loud. They had just put that behind them and she didn't need to remind him of that again, she had done enough of that already. When he continued thou Barbara was at a bit of a loss.
She knew he had feelings for her, they had done their whole little "I like you" thing years ago but it never went anywhere beyond that, it was always up to bad timing. When she wanted something he didn't want the same kind of relationship and when he was ready Barbara wasn't going to settle for that because Dick Greyson was not ready for a serious relationship and Barbara refused to be another notch in his bedpost. It had made things somewhat awkward at first but eventually she knew that they would come back to this...only she wasn't expect it to be right now.
Did she have feelings for him? Of course but Dick Greyson was the king of horrible timing. Having a relationship with him right now would not be good for them in the grand scheme of things, he was hurting and looking for a crutch, something familiar and Barbara didn't want that, she didn't want either of them to regret anything down the road she something told her that they would. It wasn't fair to either of them.
Barbara turned to look at him, she knew she had to say something back to him but really the only thing she could think of was to play dumb to the whole situation "What are you saying, Dick? maybe having him talk more would give her more time to think of her own reason that they couldn't do this right now.
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2015 6:00:54 GMT
He had been tempted to make the same remark that she had been thinking, but he had chosen not to, as funny as it may be, so it ended up just being awkward more than anything, he guessed.
As he spoke, he glanced her way, just trying to get a read off of her. He felt like he was pretty good at getting things off of normal people. Not to say that Barbara wasn't a normal person, but they lived their lives hiding behind masks. This was completely different, and they were friends. She knew what she was doing a lot more than some criminal knew what they were doing.
"You...you know what I'm saying, Barb," he told her in an even, soft tone. He should elaborate, but she knew. He knew she knew. He looked at her as he sat upright, "You know exactly what it is I'm saying, and...and it's not a result of my current state, it's not a result of what we're talking about now or anything. It's been a long time coming, and I just had to finally say something. Whether you feel at all the same or not...that's...that's not going to affect my decision or anything..."
It wouldn't affect him in his choice. He was coming back to the team, but hopefully he'd come back and be able to make a change, with Barbara, at least. He did want to be with her, and he was being honest, it wasn't a result of his emotional turmoil. These feelings were real.
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Post by Amanda Waller on May 14, 2015 2:22:16 GMT
Barbara didn't know what to say, it wasn't like it was a surprise what he was telling her but again, his timing couldn't have been worse. For a moment she was silent as she tried to figure out what to do. Barbara wanted them to have the relationship that they should have had a long time ago but she just wasn't ready and despite what he was saying she was sure he wasn't either. "It's not that I don't feel the same, it's that I don't want us to jump into anything.." She said finally, turning a little so she was facing him.
"It wouldn't be good for either of us if we did this now" Barbara knew that she would constantly wonder about the sincerity of their relationship and having doubts like that would ruin them in the long run. She valued their friendship too much to just throw it away because of something like that. "but...thats not to say we couldn't try, after you've gotten used to being back." Despite her misgivings Barbara did want this she just wasn't going to let Dick or herself jump into something so soon.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2015 5:12:18 GMT
Wait, did she just admit that she felt for him the same way? Well, that was progress at least. He had hope for their future as a result of those words, but wasn't sure if he was looking too far into them, or being too hopeful. But he was a man who was usually full of hope, and this was no different. He did want to be with her, and any sign of her wanting to be with him was a good thing. "Ok," he said softly as he looked at her. "We'll give it time."
He wanted to ask how much time. How much was going to be enough to convince her that it was good for them? He had no idea, but he wasn't going to push it. He had wanted this for so long though...but no, he couldn't push things. He just gave her a nod, "I'll...I'll hold you to it," Ok, that sounded horrible, "I mean...that sounds kind of wrong. I...I want to hold you to it, but...but I'm sure we'll figure it all out..."
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Post by Amanda Waller on May 19, 2015 22:18:47 GMT
Barbara gave him a small smile. She knew she had made things awkward with her decision but in the long run it was better for the both of them. Better not to ruin a friendship like theres on account of rushing into something. Even if rushing into things wasn't the best term, this had been a long time in coming it was just with everything going on around them it was best to wait. Barbara just hoped that he would be ok with that, but, he had waited this long, what was a little longer? "We always do" they would figure this out and the wait would make everything worth it that much more.
After that was done she sat there a moment, they needed to talk about something else...anything else to cut the tension between them right now. "Did you decide when you're coming back officially?" Was it today? A week from now? A month? Deciding to jump back into things was a huge step in the right direction but she didn't want to give Dick the chance to sit on it too long, he might back out or come up with excuses on why he shouldn't. That would be no good for anyone.
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2015 4:26:47 GMT
Yes, what was a little more time? He thought about all the times he could have tried, all the times he could have made his feelings known to her, and actually made an honest effort. And all the times he screwed up by not voicing them to her. But now he was closer at least. Now he was getting ready to make a move, and to hopefully be with the woman he cared about. There were other women in his life, but none of them could really compare to Barbara.
He hadn't decided on an exact time, but he did have an answer for her. "I need to wrap up a few things in my personal life," he told her, "I need to tell people I'm moving so I don't just disappear from their lives. I need to clean things like that, move my stuff back...it'll take me a few days at most." Maybe someone would offer to help. Maybe Barbara would offer to help? Anything to spend more time with her, "As soon as that's done, I'm back."
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