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Post by Miss Martian on Mar 1, 2015 8:34:12 GMT
'When it seems like you are the only one in the world who’s struggling; barely getting by, don't believe it. That feeling’s a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes – someone to help us hear the music in their world, to remind us that it won’t always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you.'
-Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill-
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People often said that it was art that imitated life, that it was a reflection or a capture of moments in time. Some moments were beautiful and inspiring like Henley's Invictus, or of works of art like Monet or tragic like Van Gogh and his Starry Night. Or great movies like the Breakfast Club or shows like Hello Megan. But it wasn't just words and pictures that captured the human struggles, M'gann had found but musical notes as well, that set into melody and lyrical verses, had a way of not just telling a story but taking one to another time and place; taking one on an emotional journey. Sometimes these journeys were quick, fun and lighthearted, others more sombre and tragic with everything in between. But the most interesting thing about music was that it had the ability not just to take 'you' the player of said music to a moment, but it was an emotional medium that took others with you as well. She had heard that musicians use it to work through their emotions, imprinting it into sound and then putting words to it and in some cathartic sort of way was a means to just let it all out to bare; to purge or to offer release. That's why she was here tonight. The place was small, dimly lit for ambiance M'gann supposed but the smaller crowd somehow made things feel a bit more intimate. There was the soft hum of hushed conversations as the young Martian now going as her alias Megan Morse sat upon a simple barstool, guitar slung over her shoulder as she adjusted the mic to the proper height. Her amber eyes then looked out amongst the crowd through a veil of red hair into a sea of unknown faces; strangers all. Then again it was kind of hard to see out directly into the crowd when the spotlights were upon you. They all just looked like silhouetted figures looming. M'gann gave out a soft exhale of nervousness as she told herself mentally to just breathe before she started to pluck at the strings; a simple repetitive melody that percolated with each flick of her fingers. She didn't use a pick for this, preferring to use her fingers instead to pluck and strum. Heavy lidded M'gann leaned into the mic and started to sing; her voice heavy with a soft sadness that carried with her cadence and pitch. "I dive into frozen waves where my past comes back to life..." she sang, recounting that moment she crossed paths with Connor upon his return from Smallville. "I fight fear for that selfish pain...it was worth it every time."
It didn't matter how horrible their last encounter was before he left, as soon as she'd seen him that day he just showed up at the Cave, back from his one year hiatus, she'd been so happy to see him; surprised and pained at the reminder, but still happy at his return. Until of course she felt that cold from him, that stab of reality that he wasn't as happy to see her. She'd be lying if she didn't say a small part of her broke all over again with his reaction. Her voice recounting those moments once more. " I hold still right before the crash but we both know how this ends. A clock ticks 'til it breaks glass and I drown in your again..."
" Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends..." she continued to sing and the more she did the more honest and emotionally charged her voice became. Maybe it was the music and the melody or maybe it was the fact that these words recounted everything in its rawest form; from what they were, their horrible argument and to what they are now. "It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense..."
M'gann's voice fell once more into an almost hushed whisper as she sang. "I don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose...If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you!"
Her brows break into a pained line of helpless regret as her voice mirrored what her face portrayed as she strummed the chords on her guitar with helpless and honest abandon. " 'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need! Still there relentlessly...still fight, I just don't know why?"
" If our love was tragedy, why are you my remedy?...If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?" M'gann's voice cut through the crowd as she sang asking that torn question as she leaned heavily into the mic strumming her guitar as she delivered the chorus almost in askance for an answer she herself struggled to come up with; tried hard to understand. "Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need...Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why..." her voice softened as it reached the end of the song. "Why are you my clarity?"
Amber eyes opened then to look out into the crowd, the young Martian not even realizing she'd kept her eyes closed the entire time she sang and played and she wondered how well she'd done and if the crowd liked it because right now everything around her seemed to have focused in on one thing; one silhouette in the crowd she could pick out from anywhere. She didn't even hear the applause if there was any or the words spoken to her as she slid off her seat guitar in hand and walked down the small aisle of tables towards that one looming figure. With the look on her face and the way she moved right on to the dark figure it would be evident to anyone around exactly who that Clarity she sang about was. "Connor?...What are you doing here?" she asked confused as she now stood before the boy of steel. He hated coffee houses and she was certain she was the last person he ever wanted to run into. It was why she'd been avoiding him since having dinner with him and Gar the day they crossed paths on his return; hadn't actually run in to him at all since as she was careful to stay clear out of his way. So what was he doing here at a coffee house now? Unless... "Is something wrong?" she asked assuming he was sent down to get her for Team business. "Am I needed back at the cave?"==== OOC: Song used in this post is CLARITY by Zedd ft. Foxes (the acoustic version) |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2015 10:50:37 GMT
The plan was to find M'gann and talk, to try and resolve the weird tangled mess that they were in. Such a simple plan. Simple was not alway easy though.
First of all, coffee shop. The smell alone was overpowering. Even cutting back on super sense didn't really hinder the smell of coffee. Conner grumbled to himself as he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Second, crowds. The place was pretty full, most likely due to the open mic night.
Conner never really understood why so much in life annoyed him, was it due to way he had been created or was it perhaps because everything had been a lie and now he felt the need to lash out at it.
The world he had been deluded into believing was real had been fiction, the real world he felt out of touch with. He was a weapon, a replacement for someone else. Not even a proper copy though.
As he stepped into the cafe proper Conner made his way to the side and scanned the room for her, M'gann, his whole reason for subjecting himself to this.
And there she was, on stage. Singing and playing. He had never seen her like that, sure he had seen her cheers and the like but this was something else, something heartfelt.
As the words started to make sense in his head Conner frowned, she was singing about them. Airing their problems to the whole world more or less. Looking around the room Conner stopped himself from storming out. These people didn't know that, did they? All they saw and heard was a girl who was singing about something that she was conflicted about. M'gann was able to do that, put things into words and express how she felt.
For Conner that was difficult, emotions were weird things that he didn't always have the best grasp on or at least ways to show them outwardly.
He was the rock and she was the sun. The clone was a mountain, unmoving and unchanging except in little ways but for all that counted he was static. M'gann brightened up everyone's life, made everything better by just being there.
Which is why it hurt so much when she had messed with his mind, moved on so quickly and then when things seemed to be back on track with them being friends again Conner had snapped and another fight broke out. Trust was something he had issues with normally, she had broken it so completely that he had never thought they would repair it.
Yet over the whole invasion, there had been ups and downs but it did feel like they had been on their way to repairing things. Still trust came up, could he ever really trust her to stay out of his mind, to never tamper with it like she had planned.
Conner understood at least in part the need to try and hold onto the good things they had, but she had gone too far. Way too far.
Lost in thought he realised she had stopped and was now in front of him asking if something was wrong. Conner shook his head as he snapped out of his thoughts.
"Huh? No. I thought we should talk." Master of words that he was the Cadmus clone kept it short and sweet but to those that knew him, few words could carry a heavy meaning.
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Post by Miss Martian on Mar 8, 2015 15:27:32 GMT
"Huh? No. I thought we should talk." Master of words that he was the Cadmus clone kept it short and sweet but to those that knew him, few words could carry a heavy meaning and to the Martian that knew him for what he used to say was 'all his life', she knew those few words said a whole lot more.
It was why she simply nodded, didn't question what it was about or even why. Connor wasn't the 'talking type' and lucky for him, with her he really didn't have to say much and no it wasn't the telepathic thing though that was handy at the beginning of their friendship or well it was handy and also not so handy as the clone was extremely skittish around her telepathy at first. No it wasn't her mind abilities that enabled her to read him so well, it was being with a person day in and day out, seeing the best and the worst of them that even for a clone like Connor who to the rest of the world seemed to only have one facial expression, one look, one emotion, M'gann saw the intricacies of it; every nuance from his tone, cadence and pitch of voice, to the ever so subtle shifts in the wrinkling of his 'perma-scowl' or frown. M'gann could tell when he was sad, angry, happy or anything in between; she read him rather well even without her Telepathy.
The talk was bound to happen, knew that it needed to if they were to function in any capacity with the Team. Their little impromptu dinner with Gar was perfect example. Even when they tried to keep things civil people still seemed to pick up on the vibe that things were not ok with them beneath the surface and the Team needed the two of them to function at their best with their heads in the game and not on the dramz. Yeah the talk should have happened ages ago but M'gann also understood Connor's disposition well enough to know you don't make Connor do anything he wasn't ready to. So she'd kept her silence and her distance; gave him the space he needed and more. And so now here they were.
"Not here though ok?" M'gann said. She also knew the volatile nature of the subject matter and knew Connor's propensity to fly off the handle quickly which others around would misinterpret. M'gann always weathered the storm but others around wouldn't understand he didn't mean half the things he said or did in anger. No, they didn't need an audience in case things turned out like before; they needed neutral ground and open space to talk unhindered.
"Ok, but not here...Look Out Point." M'gann suggested of the high hill that overlooked Happy Harbor. It was quiet enough this time of the night as less people climbed that high peak at this hour as the path leading to the top was rather treacherous at night. There was also just something cathartic about it all going down at that spot as they used to just hang out there as friends and talk about school and Mars and pretty much stuff that came out of her head but it somehow just felt right for it to go down in that place; it was private and neutral territory.
"I need to get my stuff and pack up my guitar so you can head out first if you want. I'll catch up." she offered giving him the out of not having to fly next to her if he didn't want to.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 17:22:48 GMT
"Ok." He said with a nod and started to turn away, he stopped himself though. Wasn't the whole point of the talk to repair things to a point that they could work together. Maybe be friends again. "Do you need help? I can help you pack up if you want."
They had done this sort of thing before, fell out in a major way and slowly put things back into perspective until the next blow out from him.
It did seem to be the way of things for them, get close and then fall apart. Clark said it was like that when you were younger, everything seemed so much bigger and more epic in every sense. It made the good times amazing and the bad times struggles of legendary status. As you got older you got to understand more, patience and understanding meant that you were less focused on the epic and more on what was real.
In his words, when you found something completely real then it was better than anything you ever remembered from when you were young.
Conner wasn't really sure about that, all he knew was that when things with M'gann were good, they made everything better and when they were rocky or bad then everything was harder and Conner found less to be enjoyed in the world. It was one of the reasons he had went to the farm, to find out more about himself and disconnect from the need for others to make the world seem brighter for him.
Moving towards her stuff, it was easy to pick out when you knew the person as well as he did her. M'gann must have so much to say to him if she wanted to be alone and he understood that. Just because it twisted him up inside, didn't mean it was just him that it effected. Hell, it effected the whole team at times depending on how bad it got. That awkward cold attitude that had crept up between them had probably been just as bad for the others.
No doubt this would be easy for the others, Dick probably would just say a few words and everything would be solved. Super power indeed. Instead Conner carefully put the guitar back into its case and picked up her jacket. Walked back to her and extended the jacket out to her. The guitar case he kept in the other hand. Manners was something the Kents considered really important. They cost nothing as they said and were worth more than gold. Again Conner wasn't sure but the last thing he wanted was to upset other people that had been kind to him.
Perhaps that was his super power?
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Post by Miss Martian on Mar 15, 2015 18:10:17 GMT
M'gann had just started to turn away, move to put where her case and stuff were situated when Connor came back and offered to help.
"Do you need help? I can help you pack up if you want."
"Uhm, sure." M'gann smiled. The shock and surprise in his change of heart to stick around and help was evident on her face.
When did this become awkward? He had done this kind of thing for her before, used to always do it actually and now it just felt weird. Maybe it was because it wasn't his first reaction. Maybe because she didn't want him to feel like he 'had' to help her just because of some feeling of obligation. M'gann didn't want him to feel obligated to her. She wanted him to do things around her because he wanted to not because he felt he 'had' to. Was it going to be this hard all the time now? M'gann wondered. She hoped not.
They had been in this situation before, fell out in a major way but they were able to put things back together only to come apart after the next blow out. He left without so much as an explanation or contact her after. Not even so much as a thank you for the birthday card she sent. That was her last try at contact knowing that if he didn't want to talk to her he wouldn't and their first encounter at the cave was proof as well. She remembered the thoughts and feelings that emerged the first time he saw her. It wasn't exactly the way she thought running into him would have felt like but there it was and she'd never forget that moment. It reminded her that no matter what she did, not matter how much she changed; one slip, one mistake and she'd forever be that monster. Easily explained. Funny for a guy that wanted people to see him as more than a weapon he had the hardest time seeing her for more than just an evil monster now. Maybe that was what Humans meant by nothing good lasts forever.
He used to look at her like it didn't matter that she was White Martian; he loved her anyways. Now it was the opposite that's all he saw and it did matter. But if he couldn't trust her then this thing with the Team wasn't going to work and he couldn't just will himself to trust her nor could she make him (not that she would) but she could try to make him understand. That was her only hope as salvaging anything out of this because if they couldn't get past his issues with her this Team wouldn't work with the two of them on it. Something would have to give and ultimately it would be M'gann to step away from the team if she can't fix this and she'd be damned if she didn't fight for the things that mattered to her; the Team and Connor.
The Martian watched as the clone moved towards her stuff, fighting the small urge to smile at the fact that he easily picked out her gear from the lot. She didn't say a thing and simply allowed that warm smile to grow. Maybe there was still a chance at fixing this as he seemed not to have blocked out everything about her just yet. After carefully putting her guitar back into its case Connor picked up her jacket and walked back to M'gann extending the jacket out to her. The guitar case he kept in the other hand as he handed her the jacket.
"Thanks." she said and lead the way out the back where they could take off in the cover of night and less conspicuously.
The flight there she was quiet, introspective even. Every now and again she would glance over at him as if to start the conversation up there a few times however each time she thought the better of it and decided to start things off when they landed.
"So..." she started as her feet touched the ground high above Happy Harbor; far enough away to not be heard if things went south again. Just them, just their words; locked up hearts and a mine field of emotions.
"Do you wanna start or should I?"
That question made M'gann feel like she just pulled the pin on the proverbial hand grenade and tossed it into that mine field. She just hoped the explosions won't tear everything up.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2015 7:51:07 GMT
"So.."
Such a tiny word but it felt loaded with more than either them were able to carry. This was going to be difficult for them both. Conner had tried practising while he had been away. He had talked to Clark and the Kents, even other people to try and get an idea of things and how they should be.
"Do you wanna start or should I?"
Was it better for her to talk first or him?
Probably better for him to speak his piece first, right? M'gann was going to say a lot and he needed to correct her on a lot of it. There was so many issues and Conner felt that she only understood one of them.
"I'll go first." He said leaning against a nearby fence. Looking upward to gather his thoughts before he spoke again Conner gave her his full attention, his eyes never leaving her as he said what was on his mind.
"I think we need to go back to the beginning. When I was away I have thought about us so much, what happened and why it happened." He rests his hands on the fence, his tone softer and more thoughtful than usual, something that only really happened around her.
"When we first met, there was this instant spark. We were both feeling lost and new, I think it gave us something in common that none of the others had. We had fun together and it was only really us in the cave."
He paused a little, as he tried to make sure he got this right, Conner did not want to mess all this up even more "We hid it from the others, or tried too. I guess cause we were still figuring it out but I think that was our first mistake. We didn't know how to deal with what we were feeling, if we had spoken to the others then we might have been better off. I mean look at how different it got when they all knew."
It was something the Kents had said, young love is a wonderful thing but it rarely lasts. You get so caught up with the other person you don't really stop to think about what is going on or why. All you want is to be around them and feel that way. Clark had explained as well that it was natural that M'gann and Superboy had become a couple, two teenagers living in the same space all the time. It was really unavoidable and the older, supposedly more responsible, Leaguers should have thought of that.
"We broke up because of what happened with you, you have a darker side and I always knew it was there but I never thought you would indulge it. It shattered everything I thought I knew about the world. You were everything good about life, but you would be willing to change my memories. You have said sorry for that and I accept it, I really do." He gave a reassuring smile, at least he hoped it was.
"We got passed it. But it doesn't change certain things. You didn't stop messing with peoples heads for me, you did it because you hurt a friend. M'gann, that hurt me. A lot. You knew how much it killed me that you did that but it took almost losing Aqualad to make you decide to stop. That I guess gave me reasons to doubt things would work between us. I don't hold that against you either, I just want to explain how things are for me."
He paused for a second before continuing "I don't want you thinking I hate you, and I know I have given that impression. You know how hard this stuff is for me, I spent a year trying to work out me, us and everything else. I tried dating in Smallville, didn't really go so well. I'm not the same age as I look, don't think I have ever been. Maybe I just not ready for that sort of thing, maybe I never will be. Doesn't change the fact that you are. You deserve someone that will make you happy. Someone without my issues."
Another pause and a thoughtful look before he spoke again "You're a Martian, white or green. Doesn't matter because you are you. I love you for being you, I hope that you remember that always. The chance you gave me was more than I think I deserved. But you have certain needs from a relationship that I can't give you. Your powers are part of who you are, the shape changing and the telepathy. You need someone that can be happy with you being able to enter their mind like we used to. I don't want people in my head any more, I know its going to happen in missions together and I can live with that but not outside it. It's unfair to ask you to give up a huge part of who you are and I couldn't deal with me limiting you like that. I don't want us to fight or be weird with each other any more, but we need to know where we stand with each other."
And he stopped talking, longest amount of words he had said in ages. Probably months but they needed said, at least he felt they did. He nodded a little to show he was done talking for now.And prepared himself for whatever she was about to say.
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Post by Miss Martian on Mar 18, 2015 11:39:36 GMT
M'gann listened to Connor as he continued to speak, as he basically reduced everything to sounding like her wanting to get back together again as in dating except M'gann's version of back together again was less about dating and more about getting to that close friendship and bond they once shared. He minimized their bond by saying it was because it was only them at the cave mostly, as if she only chose him because of close proximity and frequency rather than something genuine and true. Maybe that was the reason he chose her; out of convenience, but that wasn't the reason she chose him.
"Wow...you didn't hold anything back now did you?" M'gann said after a long bout of silence. It wasn't exactly the conversation she was thinking they were going to have.
"Not really the talk I thought we were going to have." M'gann confessed. She thought it was about the problem he had with her, about their big fight before he left and the issue of trying to get into some common ground when it came to working together on the Team. M'gann was not expecting some strange rehash of past stuff and she certainly didn't expect that whole you deserve a friend who can give you what I can't in a friendship....what does that even mean? And why even say it like that? Especially since all a friend wants from another is friendship so what did he think she wanted that he couldn't give that somehow someone else could? Unless he was basically saying he didn't want to be friends. In which case why come to her at all? She was ignoring him well enough, giving him his space. Why did he have to come back and drag her through the coals again?
M'gann didn't even know where to begin, where to start, where to end. He threw so much at her all at once and she didn't even understand half of why he was even bringing it all up. Does she address each point or just a few of them. M'gann really didn't know and so came even more silence. The wind blew rustling the snow and the bare branches around them but even then the Martian was silent. She was trying to register everything he'd said, make sense of it all but in the end she couldn't. Now all she found herself doing was just speaking from the heart.
"I didn't chose to be with you because you were always 'there' and convenient, I chose to be with you, because you were a great guy Connor. You were caring and kind, you just needed a little help in learning to express it sometimes but I saw it in you without the telepathy; I already knew it." she gave a weak smile. It somehow seemed pathetic now, knowing what she knew he thought of the basis of their relationship.
He wouldn't get it, especially since he looked at the beginning of their relationship as a shallow base of convenience. Maybe it was for him, but it wasn't for her. It was real, all real to her. It just broke her heart to know now that it was never at all what she thought it was. For a telepath she was lousy at seeing that one coming. But then again maybe it was because she saw the genuine good in people and hard to believe someone would just like her out of convenience of just 'being there all the time'. It made what she thought he saw in her seem foolish now.
"All this time I thought you had chosen to be with me out of all the others because you saw something beyond what I was and rather who I truly am." her eyes started to well. Didn't want to but it came because truth was out now and joke was on M'gann, it was only cause she was always there; convenient. That hurt the most.
"I saw a great person in you; someone special and in a lot of ways I thought you complete me..." she smirked with sudden realization. "Unintentional Jerry McGuire moment but it's true..was true." she corrected. "And I used to think I completed you too; made you better like you made me a better person...guess I was wrong."
She turned her back to him now as she looked out at the Happy Harbor it was easier not to look at him or his direction. "You say you're over it, that you've gone past my mistake; forgiven me for what I did, but you haven't. You dwell on it. You constantly remind yourself of it and no I wasn't reading your mind Connor, I don't have to. You project it so loud sometimes Like when you first saw me that day at the cave with Gar."
She shook her head her hair falling forward onto her face to hide behind a veil of red. "You said you're passed it all Connor and you don't hold it against me, but just listen to what you've just said...because you still do."
"And this..." she motioned between the two of them. "*This* awkwardness, sucks. I miss that guy that made me laugh...and yes you made me laugh. Half the time you probably didn't realize you were being funny but you were."
"I miss that guy that isn't afraid to tell me straight if I've stepped out of line. I miss hanging out and having fun with him; like getting dressed up for Halloween with him and the team or listening to different types of music and watching his reaction or no reaction. Either way I still think he's a closet Bruno Mars fan he's just too stubborn to admit it." The last bit was a friendly lighthearted taunt to try and just get back to a semblance of normalcy between them, some common familiar ground that would remind him that it wasn't really all that bad between them and just end these weird knotted anxious feelings between them; she didn't do awkward very well. Didn't like it one bit.
"I just miss my best friend Conner... I miss, 'You'." She finally admitted wiping her eyes.
"And I realize that this probably went way over on the over-share and potentially creeped you out." she sighed resigningly. "A little too much One Tree Hill there wasn't it? Shoulda tried channelling more Payton and less Brooke; from season two."
"..."
"Look I'm sorry...about everything." M'gann said her eyes tearing up in the most unwanted of times. "And maybe I'm the last person on your list right now, but I just want to set things straight. I just...I just want it to be okay between us again because if we can't make this work than the Team doesn't work."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2015 6:45:57 GMT
"Wait...what?" Conner shook his head quickly when she was finished talking "I didn't mean it like that..." He clenched his fists causing the wood he was sitting on to crack and groan before he let go and stepped away from it.
"I didn't mean convenient."
There was an order to fixing this, he was sure of it. Conner just had to work it out. First of all he moved over to her and hugged her gently, she was upset and that really wasn't what he wanted. He knew this talk would be difficult but it seemed what he had been told might not be completely accurate.
"We were always going to be friends M'gann. I meant the other stuff happened because of our age, how lost we felt and how close we were. I don't regret it. I never will." Time to stop taking what others said and just to explain his way, she would prefer that and he would hopefully find it easier.
The hug didn't stop, a way to show that he didn't hold things against her, to show that he was ok with being around her.
"I spoke to some people, trying to work things out about us. Most of them all said the same things. Young love is bright and amazing but it doesn't usually last. People grow up, they change from the person you first fell in love with. I don't want you to think for a second that I didn't feel more comfortable around you than I did anyone else. You just made everything feel so much easier."
All they had been through, M'gann had been there from the start like a guiding light to keep him on the right track. Through all the stuff with Superman and his attempts to fit in at school.
"I do forgive you for what happened, just because I spoke about it or sometimes think about it, that doesn't mean that I don't hold it against you. I did a lot of stuff I regret, its just the telepathy thing. Doesn't matter who does that, I'm really having issues with it. I don't want to be thinking about Cadmus and what they did to me." With M'gann he was ok with her in his head at first, well after the initial outbursts. With her change to a more aggressive stance on its use and what she tried to do to him Conner had reverted to what he was like previous, was possible he might get more comfortable with it but for now he wanted his head empty of other people.
"I'm not a Bruno Mars fan because I like a couple of songs" Conner added playfully "In Smallville its a Taylor Swift invasion, every girl there seems hooked. Was driving me up the wall. Thankfully the Kents are old school rockers. Listening to the classics while doing farm work is actually fun. Though Superman is a horrible singer. Definitely not one of his powers."
Conner broke the hug slowly and gently as he walked a step or two back.
"When you left Gar was telling me that I needed to get my moves on if I wanted to get you back cause some other guy is interested in you. He kinda hinted that you would want me too. I think I misread you and listened to him a bit much. I miss our talks, I miss us hanging out."
Conner gave her a small smile, which for him was practically a grin "I thought about you a lot, how you would enjoy stuff we were doing there or what you might have said at that time. Like the time a bale fell apart over Clark. I could practically hear your giggling. What I mean is, I did miss you. Just stuff can be complicated. I don't do well with complicated."
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Post by Miss Martian on Apr 19, 2015 19:28:16 GMT
When first he moved to embrace her M'gann stiffened. It wasn't that it was unwelcome so much as she wasn't expecting it and was caught a bit off guard. It didn't help any that she hadn't been looking at him; her face hidden in her hair and down cast but eventually she eased into it with that strange sense of familiarity and rightness. It was all she ever wanted really; things to be less awkward between them and back to that ease of familiarity.
"We were always going to be friends M'gann...l Connor had said. The hug didn't stop from him in a way it was like he wanted to show that he didn't hold things against her, to show that he was ok with being around her.
"You say that now Connor but I remember how you felt when you first saw me back at the cave a few weeks ago." she said, face still buried in her hair as she recounted that feeling and thought. "That wasn't the feeling one has when they see a friend...and before you think it, 'no' I wasn't reading your mind. I didn't have to."
Then he started talking about how things were easier between them and how easy she made things be for him when they were together and it was true only she didn't do anything different or special in her eyes he made it easy to be that way around him but then things changed. She screwed up, made one mistake and he can never look at her the same again. He said he was over it but problem was, his actions didn't really reflect it.
"I do forgive you for what happened..." he said and her fingers reflexively clutched at his shirt when he said it. She desperately wanted to believe him, "just because I spoke about it or sometimes think about it, that doesn't mean that I don't hold it against you. I did a lot of stuff I regret, its just the telepathy thing. Doesn't matter who does that, I'm really having issues with it. I don't want to be thinking about Cadmus and what they did to me."
"I know..." her voice was a soft whisper muffled by his shirt and the press of his chest against her. "I'm sorry..."
"I'm not a Bruno Mars fan because I like a couple of songs" Conner added playfully which caused her to smile a little against him. "In Smallville its a Taylor Swift invasion, every girl there seems hooked. Was driving me up the wall. Thankfully the Kents are old school rockers. Listening to the classics while doing farm work is actually fun. Though Superman is a horrible singer. Definitely not one of his powers."
The Martian lifted her head to look at him then, her eyes still bright from the tears earlier but her small smile was different almost playful as she pushed away the earlier guilt and sadness. "I like Taylor Swift. And don't be so hard on Superman, I've heard you sing too." she said with a small smile as she nodded that she was ok enough for him to release her and break the hug slowly and gently as he walked a step or two back.
"When you left Gar was telling me that I needed to get my moves on if I wanted to get you back cause some other guy is interested in you. He kinda hinted that you would want me too. I think I misread you and listened to him a bit much. I miss our talks, I miss us hanging out."
"Yeah, even when I went to pick him up at the Sanctuary he asked where you were and was a bit put off at first that Seven was with me not you." M'gann wiped her eyes and face, cleaning herself up bit as she shook her head. "Gar's always hoped we'd get back together. " she offered Connor a small smile as she looked up at the sky and sighed a little.
"But, honestly Connor I don't think I'm ready to date anyone. My last two tries kinda proves I suck as a girlfriend." she said her eyes finally leaving the distance and loosing that distant look as she turned back to look at him. "I mean look what I did with us...to La'Gaan. I Kinda made a mess of things."
Then he surprised her; did the unexpected. Conner gave her a small smile, which for him was practically a grin "I thought about you a lot, how you would enjoy stuff we were doing there or what you might have said at that time. Like the time a bale fell apart over Clark. I could practically hear your giggling. What I mean is, I did miss you. Just stuff can be complicated. I don't do well with complicated."
"I know...and I'm sorry for that." she said softly as she wrapped her arms around herself as if the very action was what was keeping her together.
"I thought about you too, a lot actually. I worried and hoped that you were ok until I learned you were with the Kents in Smallville, then I worried less and instead hoped you were having the time of your life there meeting new friends and just getting to be 'Connor' the guy I know and love. " her voice softened as she looked up at him; moved towards him.
"You have this propensity to shut yourself away from people because you still think yourself a weapon but you've always been more than that...much more." M'gann said as she pressed her forehead against his like she used to and closed her eyes; it was a Martian thing and one she'd done with him countless times before.
"I missed you too ..." she confessed but there was a trace of deep sadness there as well. "But all I seem to do is complicate things for you, even if I don't mean to and I'm sorry for that Connor. I really am."
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